For centuries, men have struggled with the idea of talking to beautiful women. Quite a bit of our world’s culture (song lyrics, poems, etc) deal with the inability to get the attention of the woman you desire. But it doesn’t have to be that hard. This website shows you to talk to a girl, any girl, anytime and any where.
The volume of music in nightclubs and bars can be an obstacle for guys when they talk to girls. Many people find themselves having trouble communicating over the loud, repetitive tunes. If you’re not used to the noise it can be hard to think, let alone communicate! This exercise is an easy way for any guy and his wing to overcome the deafening noise of the nightclub and master their vocal skills.
Just don’t get in trouble with your neighbors for disturbing the peace!
Here is How to Be Heard When You Talk to Girls
Level 1: Become Accustomed to Speaking in Noisy Environments
First you’ll need a stereo that can really blast some music (the stereo in your car will work for the Level 1 exercise.) Put on something loud, anything from bumping club music to grinding death metal will do. Blast the music. Stand about 10 ft away from a friend and simply talk about anything for 5 to 10 minutes.
The point here is to get comfortable to thinking and speaking over loud music. It doesn’t matter at this point if the other person understands what you are saying. What matters is that you can keep on track and tell a story all the way through, over the music. After about two weeks of this, you’ll find that you are much more comfortable around loud music.
Level 2: Practice Telling Stories and Listening
Write up, find, or memorize a story that your partner has never heard before. Stand across from each other and crank the music up. One of you will be the storyteller and the other will be the listener. The storyteller will try to communicate his story over the blasting music. The listener will try to figure out what the story is all about.
Once the storyteller is finished telling his tale, turn the music down. Now, the listener will explain what he believes the story was all about. If his version of the story is way off, then the storyteller needs to change how he expresses his story.
The storyteller and listener should discuss ways that you could use your body language and tonality to more accurately tell the story. Use your hands, make gestures, or change your facial expressions to match feelings or events in the story. Emphasize specific words that are important to the meaning of the story. Find parts of the story where you can throw in some kino.
Tell the story again. Then change roles.
There are two lessons for this exercise in volume control. The first lesson is how to communicate an entire story to a group of people in a loud night club so that the listeners get the point.
The second lesson is how to listen to and interpret a story in a loud environment. This is especially important when a girl is telling you a story. The more you can hear, the better your response could be. Make sure you use different stories each time you practice.
This exercise will prove invaluable when you go out and talk to girls.
Also Pay Attention to Body Language
One of the worst things you can do in a noisy club is to “peck” when you can’t hear what someone is saying. You probably wouldn’t even notice that you’re doing it, but other people can observe your body language and pretending to be a chicken is a huge demonstration of lower value. Here’s what we mean when we say “peck.”
When you can’t hear someone, most guys will lean in closer to the speaker. Some men even think this is a positive form of kino because they can use the noise as an excuse to get close to the lady. However, by repeatedly leaning in, you resemble a ravenous chicken, pecking at feed in the chicken coop. It looks bad, it conveys lower value, and it basically puts your head on a string that’s controlled by the speaker.
Resist the urge to peck. If you can’t hear what someone says, stand tall and simply ask them to repeat it. Do not lean forward. Be confident in your ability to simply ask someone to speak up. Don’t be embarrassed and don’t mumble. But most of all, don’t peck.
Enough talking about the weather and how much you both hate How I Met Your Mother. Once you and a woman you fancy have been alone together, focused on each other, and chatting away it’s probably time to turn up the heat of the conversation. Use language to intensify emotions. Seductive speech is subtle, laced with metaphor and suggestion. Here I give you a subversive, romantic routine you can unleash when you feel the time is right to shift the chit chat vibe from comfortable to more intriguing and arousing.
It begins innocently from the middle of any conversation as you lose your focus.
“…Ugh I totally forgot what I was about to say. I hate that. I had something on the tip of my tongue and my mind just went blank. I hate my brain right now. It’s like it just did a refresh.”
Then you transition into talking about how the brain works.
“I actually studied neurology and the way your mind processes thoughts is incredible. Basically your brain has two hemispheres. The left side is like the accountant. It does math, judges distances, it deals in logic and decision making. The right side is like a poet. It’s creative and emotional, it understands compassion and beauty.”
Next, segue into how this affects people’s personalities.
“The two sides help each other but they also compete. But it’s unique to each person. Which side is more powerful shows in people’s behavior.”
Then discuss how you and she as individuals are more left or right brain oriented. The key here is to be specific.
“I see you as being more right brained. For example, when I told you about how my friend’s girlfriend cheated on him your first reaction was
“‘Aww, that’s terrible. He must have felt awful.’ You instantly sympathized with him emotionally which is an instinctual right brain response. As opposed to if you had said, ‘Well, he should break up with her’ which would be to first rationalize a solution and more left brained.”
Use Cold Reading to Seductively Talk to a Girl
Here you get the opportunity to do some cold reading freestyle. Dwell on her personality and yours, open up and don’t be afraid to be wrong. Explore it with her, be specific about what in her behavior you see as being right or left brained. The deeper you delve into your personalities the better. It may lead to an hour long conversation! Speak intimately and candidly. But then bring it all together in a flourish as you praise emotion over logic.
“There’s not always an equal balance in both sides but our left brain seems to me like it restrains the right. It’s protective. It analyzes everything like a cop. But I don’t want to be robotic. People are too inhibited. We’re human; emotions should be natural and free. I’m alive, I want happiness, romance and joy. You’ll find danger in every situation if you look for it. But more often than not we need to silence that voice because some things in life just don’t make sense. Passion doesn’t make sense but neither does being afraid of it. Sometimes we just need to let go. Give in to pleasure.”
The wording here is just an example and I warn against ever reciting memorized prose for risk of coming off just plain cheesy. Seductive language is bold and comes from the heart. But it’s elusively suggestive so that her imagination interprets what you leave vague. I quote Robert Greene’s The Art of Seduction in a chapter on the demonic power of words: “…speak colloquially, though with a poetic edge to lift the language above the commonplace.”
I was frozen in place, completely paralyzed, and felt hundreds of people staring at me, as I struggled to simply talk to a girl – it’s called approach anxiety. You have probably experienced a similar situation in your own life, wondering how you’re supposed to talk to a girl.
She was pretty in a girl-next-door sort of way. I had spent hours in the bar screwing up the courage to approach her. I forced myself to trudge up to her table, she stopped her conversation and looked up at me. She waited for me to say something.
But I simply could not bring myself to speak.
She raised her eyebrows in a questioning gesture.
My stomach churned and my heart pounded while I shoved my sweaty palms into my pocket. Logically, I know the juke box continued to play and everyone else in the bar kept talking. But I felt like total silence had engulfed the joint and that everyone was staring at me.
I turned and quickly walked away from the girl.
How did your own inability to talk to a girl appear? Maybe you sat next to a cute girl in Algebra class but could never bring yourself to ask her name. Maybe there was a coworker in the end cubicle that you could never ask about her weekend.
I simply found myself frozen, utterly baffled, completely stuck by my inability to simply talk to a girl.
It’s an awful feeling. People speak to strangers dozens of times every freaking day. I had no problem interacting with the person at the toll booth or the clerk at the bookstore. But if it was a woman that caught my eye romantically, I was lost. It seemed like such a simple thing, but it was like climbing Mount Everest to me.
Then, I read The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss. Which led me to Stylelife Academy, his online academy of attraction. And I learned how to talk to girls.
There were two levels of knowledge that I learned. One was a more mechanical, how-to approach for communicating with women. The other was more philosophical, more personal attitude that transformed all my interactions with people.
Tips on How To Talk To A Girl
Simply follow these easy steps to use the mechanical approach:
1. Don’t just walk up to a woman and blandly say “hello” as this puts undue pressure on the situation. She has to decide if she wants to speak with you. Instead, use an opener to generate a conversation. Openers consist of a root, a time constraint, and a query. The root addresses her subconscious wondering of why are you approaching her. The time constraint sets her mind at ease that you won’t sit there and pester her for hours. And the query elicits a response.
As an example, talk to a girl by saying, “I need a quick female opinion… I can only stay a moment because I have to get back to my friends. We’re having this discussion: Who lies more? Men or women?”
Your question can be anything. It can be an observation about the venue, it can be a question about female attitudes towards a certain topic, it can be about a particular movie or new CD, and so forth. It is simple a question to generate a conversation.
2. As you say your opener, rock back slightly on your heels and maybe even glance over your shoulder. This body language tactic reinforces the time constraint to signal that you have other places to go, other people to chat with.
3. Be sure that you deliver your opener in a spontaneous manner. Practice your openers so they flow smoothly, but don’t be robotic. Strive to be like an athlete who practices a play so that when the moment comes during the game, he just acts without a thought.
4. Always be interested in her response. Use the interaction as an opportunity to learn something that you find intriguing. This will ensure you come across as sincere and genuine, and not someone who is simply repeating a script.
The idea of being interested ties into the more philosophical approach that I learned from Stylelife. I was struggling to talk to a girl because I put too much pressure on the interaction. I felt like I had to immediately impress her if I wanted any chance at a phone number or a date. In the back of my head, I was imagining the two of strolling on romantic beaches before I even knew her name. It was like worrying about making the last second shot in the championship before even leaving the locker room.
Stylelife taught me that improvement was about the long-term journey. I shouldn’t worry about getting a specific phone number. I should pay attention to improving my communication skills and having fun meeting new people.
Today, I spoke to three different women, on the fly, spontaneously. My words flowed effortlessly. I was in complete control. All along, it sounded so easy, just to simply talk to a girl.
And now it is.
It can be for you too.